laid back on my chair
slurping over my evening tea
i replay yesterday
the little pleasures and joys we shared
never knew how small things matter
now my wandering mind wanders
to lands i mustn’t visit
gate i mustn’t open
for the air inside will stifle me
it is full of fumes of unknown sins
but how you keep a curious kid
away by prohibiting
i start with the small joys
soon seeing the ugly side of it
how it all made me smile yesterday
had hurt me so badly someday
could i have hurt someone too?
without any intention of it?
unaware i am of the chaos i might have caused
in lives of people i never made a pause
could my one denial have broken their heart?
did me waving back and smiling, made her mad?
i know, i am not at fault
in so many of these things
yet i wonder
how do i redeem my soul
of the sins unknown yet belonging to it
someday a letter might arrive
inked with things i am unaware of
and wreak my world
but in anticipation i can’t let go
of happiness today
or can i?
wondering in the forbidden land
i lose my self
now all i stifle on my way out
is happiness and little joys
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